Kid-Sensei Spells Trouble

I DID IT FOR THE LULZ, COS NOTHING IS SACRED~

Because I have entirely too many plot bunnies in mai hed.

--
Tsunade wondered how she let herself get talked into these sort of things.

In her defense, large amounts of alcohol was involved. Against her, so was Jiraiya, and anything involving Jiraiya never turned out right.

It was only later, when she woke up in some strange apartment with some kid standing over her with the most intimidating glower she'd ever seen on a kid that old that she thought maybe something terrible had happened.

"Set. This. Right!" the kid growled.

"What?" she asked intelligently. "Listen, kid, I've never seen you before in my life --"

"It's me, you drunk hag!" the kid yelled, then slapped his hands over his mouth with a sheepish look. "Hokage-sama!" he continued with a slightly more mature voice. "It's me, Umino Iruka! Whatever you did to me, take it back!"

Abruptly, Jiraiya rose from behind he couch with a familiar lopsided expression, still flushed from the alcohol. "Sorry about that ... Iruka, did you say? We can't ... the scroll disintegrated ... and you agreed anyway ..."

"You threatened to use it on Naruto!" Iruka growled, looking more frightening than Tsunade remembered kids that age being. His chuunin uniform hung baggily on his thin frame, and the neck of the shirt kept slipping off one tanned shoulder. "I should report the both of you to the council!"

"You and I know that the council keeps jutsu matters under the Hokage's jurisdiction," Jiraiya said, disappearing behind the couch. "Because you agreed, they'll just ignore it, anyway." He reappeared with a bottle, which he peered into curiously before tipping up and sticking his tongue out. A single drop of sake fell from the lip of the bottle onto his tongue. "Oh well," he sighed, lowering the bottle. "I've got to go research today ..."

Iruka bristled. "I thought you were supposed to be teaching Naruto!" he snarled.

Tsunade blinked slowly, still not having moved from her sprawled position on the floor. Kid-Iruka is almost as adorable as Naruto, and apparently is still as obses -- attached. Of course, attached. They look about the same age.

"I'll teach the kid later," Jiraiya waved off as he stumbled for the door.

"No!" Iruka said, his cheeks puffing out with adolescent anger. Tsunade figured this was a good time to interfere, because otherwise the chuunin-turned-kid might get hurt bouncing off of Jiraiya's back or something. She seized him by the headband hanging around his neck and dragged him backwards. For a moment, she shook him, ignoring the distressed sounds he made.

"Listen, Iruka-kun," she said politely as she grabbed his ear. "Jiraiya is way above your level, especially since you're just a chuunin who teaches kids --"

Iruka proved to her that Academy teachers had been assigned over the hellions that were Konoha's future for a reason.

Well, damn, she thought as she crashed though the wall head-first.

It did nothing for her hangover.